The lights in the arena turn off, RESPECT by Aretha Franklin begins blaring through the arena, a single spotlight turns on and follows one man on his walk to the ring. Steve Urkel, looking exactly as he did during his early 90's run as the star of Family Matters, enters the ring, hits a few poses on the turnbuckles, signals for his music to be turned off, and grabs a mic.
Steve Urkel: "You may remember me as a punchline. You may remember me as a catchphrase. You may remember as a TV star. I went through a lot in the 90's. I grew up on TV as the butt of everyone's jokes. I spent a great deal of time trying to get everyone to like me. I was trying to be what I thought everyone wanted. But it tore me up inside. Eventually, I learned to embrace the nerd. I turned the jokes around. People started laughing with me instead of at me. I became a cultural anti-hero. I gained respect. After the show ended, I went down to Mexico and I have been wrestling down there ever since. Those in the back may think I'm a joke. You may see a smaller, less-muscular guy in this ring and assume that you can squash me. I promise you, I will give you the fight of your life. I've been changing people's opinions my entire life. This federation will be the same way. I will fight anyone who gets in my way. I'm ready to work my way to a title. I'm ready to lead this federation. I'm ready to to put in the time it takes to become a legend. That time starts now. Matt Chalot, you get to be first in what will be a long line behind me. Get out here!
Steve Urkel throws down the microphone and sits on the turnbuckle, waiting for his opponent.
